Sneeze-quake

I was born in Texas. We’re mostly big sneezers there. It’s widely accepted that Texans do everything bigger. No wimpy little “achoo.” No, my sneeze comes out in sort of a “Yah-hoo!” It could hardly get more Texan than that—unless maybe I roped and branded it. And it’s a real reverberater. It makes everyone within about a quarter-mile radius have ringing ears for an hour. My husband says my sneeze registers 8.7 on the Richter scale. He’s exaggerating, of course. Even if it does register it’s probably barely a 4.

But to top it all off, my husband also tells me I always sneeze in nines. I think it’s a little weird that he counts. But then maybe it’s a little like counting down a missile launch. Except that it’s really missile launch times nine. That’s a lot of ear-ringing. You know, reverberation is not always a good thing.

Here’s hoping we can add even more decibels in proclaiming the message of Christ to a hopeless world. We have the message they need. That’s hope that’s worth yahooing about. Hope not just times nine—hope times infinity.

So what do you say? How about we do some big honkin’, Texas-sized reverberating!

Cellulite. Bubble Wrap. Same Thing.

Have I mentioned that I have perfect thighs? Perfect, I tell you. So to keep them in mint condition, I’ve covered them with this protective layer of cellulite. Kind of like bubble wrap. As a matter of fact, it even looks kind of like bubble wrap.

Hey, you can’t pay enough for this kind of protection. Though come to think of it, I’m rather “heavily” invested.

But my Heavenly Father? He provides a holy bubble wrap. It’s not just for the thighs. It’s for the life. Psalm 32:7 says, "Thou art my hiding place; Thou shalt preserve me from trouble; Thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance."

Even when troubles come, we can rest in knowing that our God ultimately preserves us. Our soul is wrapped up in the most complete, eternally bubble-wrapped way. When we’re tuned in to him, we can remember that protection—and we can hear that sweet song of preservation that surrounds us like the warmest, most comfy blanket.

The sweet sounds of the songs of deliverance? They’re sweeter than the sound of popping bubble wrap any old day.

Coffee Accessorizing

Remember the days when you could order a cup of coffee in four syllables? A cup of coffee was a “cup of coffee.” That’s it. These days, coffee has been accessorized to triple its original syllablage. Or even more.

Being the accessory overachiever that I am (if only you could see these ear rings), I’m pretty excited about coffees that can be accessorized and enhanced until they’re hardly coffee anymore. I love a shot of this flavor and a dollop of that topping. Sprinkles? Sure. I just have to remember when I get up to the cash register that every syllable is about another quarter to 50 cents. A six-dollar cup of coffee? I tell you, I can do it.

Adding this, adding that—it may be expensive in a cup of coffee, but it can be a great life-thing. 2 Peter 1:5-8 says “Do your best to improve your faith. You can do this by adding goodness, understanding, self-control, patience, devotion to God, concern for others, and love. If you keep growing in this way, it will show that what you know about our Lord Jesus Christ has made your lives useful and meaningful” (CEV).

Now there’s a list of worthwhile syllables we can add! We’re called to keep adding more and more character syllables to our lives. And what happens when we add goodness, understanding, self-control, patience, devotion to God, concern for others and love? We show that Christ makes a difference in our lives. We give a testimony with our lives that life in Jesus makes us useful and gives life meaning. Let’s stay alert when it comes to adding those wonderfully worthwhile things to our lives.
Hey, I think I might just stay even more alert with a Grande Espresso Mocha Carmel Macchiato with extra foam and chocolate sprinkles!

Wedgie Tales

My 16-year-old is the youngest of five kids. That means that he’s suffered a lot of wedgies through the years. But hey, I figure that’ll give him stories he can tell his kids. Some parents tell their children about walking to and from school in the 12-foot snow—uphill both ways. Daniel will be able to tell his children that he spent a few years suffering through underwear with no waistbands. My friend Janet said he could call his stories “Wedgie Tales.”

It’s a good reminder that tough situations, like waistbands, come and go. The question is, how will we respond? Will we allow difficulties to strengthen us? Will we rest in our Heavenly Father’s presence, seeing life from his eternal perspective? Or will we try to squirm through on our own, pouting all along the way? Stories of grace under pressure are so much more fun to pass on to our children. Those stories will even answer a lot of their questions about life and how we should live it.

In the Amplified version of 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 we read, “Therefore we do not become discouraged, utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear. Though the outer man is progressively decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being progressively renewed day after day. For our light, momentary affliction, this slight distress of the passing hour, is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory, beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!”

Waistbands? Here today, wedgied away tomorrow. But we’re to be focused on the things that are eternal—the unseen blessedness that never ceases. Verse 18 says, “Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal, brief and fleeting, but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting,” 2 Corinthians 4:18, AMP.

I’m fighting the urge to mention the fact that it says that visible things are “brief.” The invisible? Everlasting! Not ever-elastic. But deathless and everlasting, for sure. And ultimately, in our own personal “everlasting,” every question in this life—every why—will be answered.

Of course, there’s still one question left hanging at present: Would you call a person with no waistbands left a “Wedge-etarian”?